4 Things To Bring To A Shark Fight


Yeah, we said it ‘Shark Fight’ Even though the Discovery’s 25th Shark Week has already taught us that there are only about 5 shark-related fatalities a year it never hurts to give yourself a fighting chance. After reading this article you’ll be set to hunt-down the supplies needed to turn the unlikely event of a shark attack into a shark fight!

1. Shark Deterrent – $15

With this 2 oz  can of ‘Anti-Shark 100′ repellent sharks will be sure to keep their distance. This can will release a cloud of ‘shark necromone’ (shark corpse-funk), into the water, shrouding you in the reek of decomposing shark.

Smelling like a dead-shark is sure to assert your dominance and speak to your experience as a seasoned shark strangler, think of it as showing up to a fight with a severed human leg, nobody wants to mess with that guy!


2.WASP Knife – $500

If you find yourself in the jaws of a predator (aquatic or otherwise) a knife may seem as effective as an insult but the WASP is more than just a knife.

The WASP utilizes standard CO2 cartridges to inject whatever’s been stabbed with a rapid discharge of freezing gas. Between freezing organs and a stab wound we’d guess you’re pretty likely to get away from just about any threat.


3. Electronic Shark Deterrent System – $380-$400

Meant for swimmers, surfers and divers the ESDS comes with the option of a tether and is designed to be worn on the ankle. The ESDS emits electronic pulses which, supposedly disrupt sharks electroreception thus repelling them.

While sharks may get close they’ll quickly flip and swim the other direction within about a 10-20 foot radius making you as undesirable as your high school yearbook picture did.


4. Neptunic Nemo II Sharksuit

Finally, if you’re going to be swimming with sharks and you want to get close there’s no better way to protect yourself than with armor and Neptunic’s Nemo II is as safe as it stylish.

While chain mail is standard when it comes to shark suits the Nemo II is made of a proprietary fabric that promises to be just as bite resistant. Additionally it’s neutrally buoyant making underwater movement a bit easier for the camera men the suit is normally tailored to.


Disclaimer: Don’t Fight Sharks

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